Sex heals
Just 5 minutes before midnight, and a couple cocktails later one of my friends said; ‘’Sex heals.’’ The comment was very thought provoking, not only for me, but also for my other three friends. Soon enough we shared our experiences, thoughts and conclusions. There was something in the air that night, a flash of inspiration, one that I’d be happy to analyze and share, or perhaps even experiment. Be prepared to drop your ice-cube on the floor as Dalis did when she heard my point of view, but most of all; be open to challenge your mind and know that my personal view on the topic lays in my late-night escapades, romantic dates and open conversations.
Late night escapades
Sex has been quite an important part of my life, as its where life started for me, but beyond that I found another side called ‘’pleasure’’. Pleasure is used as my core thought for the healing process sex can potentially offer. Pleasure doesn’t have the outcome of making a baby, but it could be a possibility. It does recreate life, mostly the life from within. Pleasure allows you to be present, forgetting the world around you. It could feel like riding a rollercoaster that is giving you this rush, a rush that you don’t want to lose after nervously waiting for it. Pleasure can be found not only in sex, but also from eating the first peaches of the summer, or it could be in the form of a reminder. A reminder of how the juices of that peace ran down your body, not for the purpose of feeding yourself, rather for the purpose of becoming the peach that will be eaten. But pleasure from two bodies intertwining will create a much larger force than eating a peach, it can turn hard into soft and reversed. It’s vulnerable and sometimes scary as you allow somebody in your personal space, a space that feels safe, a space that is nourished by yourself throughout the years.
Love, joy and violation
Pleasure led to reflections of feeling secure, loved and enjoyed. The opposites were true for me with the wrong people, they made me feel insecure and violated. That’s why it has the potential to heal you with the right person, but it also has a flip side. To focus on the healing potential of sex; it has allowed me to relax my mind and body, while also releasing tensions from the everyday life. There is a window to feel warm, satisfied, sweaty and out of breath during that space pre, during and post orgasm. I would instantly feel happier, and often orgasms served as a moment to slow down, which is something I struggled with for some time in the overstimulated society we live in. It teaches me to let go of the pressure, and to allow myself to see what life is really about, which in my point of view is mostly enjoying the ride, exploration and adventure of life itself.
Dr. Love
But how did sex effect intimate partners, specifically in a healing manner? They felt like it was normal to be gay or bisexual, they felt the space to be themselves, and they flourished into the following: coming out to their family or friends, feeling more confident, not being scared to be intimate and mostly the power of feeling loved again. All that healing was possible by the power of intimacy, with the right chemistry and people.
Science behind the art of sex
An addition to the healing experiences I’ve had myself can be expressed scientifically. Sex reduces blood pressure, which is one of the markers of heart health. Sex also reduces the risk of prostate cancer, researched in 2004 with 30.000 men, the study has extended their research for an additional 10 years, as the results are quite mesmerizing. The doctors concluded that those who orgasm more than 21 times a month had a lower risk of prostate cancer then men who had an orgasm around 4-7 times per week. But that’s not all, as sex also relieves stress, it regulates cortisol levels for both men and woman, and for those who don’t know what cortisol is; it’s the chemical related to stress. But is also releases oxytocin, endorphins and other ‘’feel-good’’ hormones. At last, it improves sleep, which explains my naps after cumming. Unfortunately, it’s not researched by Dr. Jake, fortunately he can role play as it. However, this research is written by Medical News Today, related articles will be highlighted at the end of my story for the credibility of these statements.
Pleasure and its shapes
But what about people that don’t engage in sex? Healing can come from those other small pleasures such as dancing, or intimacy in the form of hugs. Not engaging in sex doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to heal through its force, as a hug also releases feel-good hormones. And yes, hugs are not the same as sex, but it is part of that safe and intimate aspect sex has. It’s important to always ask your partner what they are comfortable with, which is also intimate, it opens up the conversation to be vulnerable, as not everybody has a relationship to sex like I do.
Swinging my wand
So, does it really work to swing my wand around fulfilling not only wishes? The answer is yes, depending on your sex partner and the right circumstances. It must be comfortable, consensual, and safe. You should feel secure, loved, enjoyed and even celebrated afterwards. May we all heal in as many and creative ways a possible, I’ll give you a couple in the next articles.
Research references
· Charnetski, C. J., & Brennan, F. X. (2004). Sexual frequency and salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA) [Abstract].
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/citedby/10.2466/pr0.94.3.839-844
· Ditzen, B., et al. (2019). Intimacy as related to cortisol reactivity and recovery in couples undergoing psychosocial stress [Abstract].
https://journals.lww.com/psychosomaticmedicine/Abstract/2019/01000/Intimacy_as_Related_to_Cortisol_Reactivity_and.4.aspx
· Is sex helping or hurting your sleep? (n.d.).
https://www.sleep.org/articles/does-sex-affect-sleep/
· Leitzmann, M. F., et al. (2004). Ejaculation frequency and subsequent risk of prostate cancer.
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/198487
· Liu, H., et al. (2016). Is sex good for your health? A national study on partnered sexuality and cardiovascular risk among older men and women.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5052677/
· Lorenz, T. K., et al. (2017). Interactions among sexual activity, menstrual cycle phase, and immune function in healthy women [Abstract].
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/figure/10.1080/00224499.2017.1394961?scroll=top&needAccess=true
· Rider, J. R., et al. (2016). Ejaculation frequency and risk of prostate cancer: Updated results with an additional decade of follow-up [Abstract].
https://www.berkeleywellness.com/self-care/sexual-health/article/can-sex-prevent-prostate-cancer
· Sex and high blood pressure. (n.d.).
http://heartinsight.heart.org/May-2014/Sex-and-High-Blood-Pressure/
· Sex boosts immunity. (n.d.).
https://www.sexhealthmatters.org/did-you-know/sex-boosts-immunity
· Shaw, G. (2017). Can frequent sex prevent prostate cancer?
https://www.berkeleywellness.com/self-care/sexual-health/article/can-sex-prevent-prostate-cancer
